May 13, 2010
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Chug chug chugging along
I’m in mourning for my job. I’m still going to be unemployed and it still hurts though it’s not the sharp stab of a knife by a throbbing wound that comes and goes through out the day, though out the week. It’s affecting my sleep. Some nights, I can’t get to bed until 1 or 2 and I have to get up at 6 so by the time I get home I’m beat. It’s like there’s a little hamster wheel going round and round in my head.
Right now, I’m my room. Three years ago got my first classroom and it’s a beauty. It has 3 sinks, lab tables, and a million science materials, from microscopes, laptops, to rocks, to a million other random items that would make any science teacher’s day. My friends (who are way smarter now) came out to help me put it together. It took 8 of us all day to just put stuff on the walls and move random boxes out of the way. I look at the walls and smile because I see friends standing precariously on their tip toes to staple things into the walls. That alphabet was put up by my 2 best guy friends (and it’s still crooked boys!), that wall was put up by my hardworking girlfriends (it’s straight and super cute) and the hours of sweat and excitement that I was finally starting my dream.
I am slowly taking things off of the walls, putting books away, packing up crayons and pencils and I’m trying not to let it get to me. I have about 5 weeks left of teaching and I’m trying to stay positive but it feels that with every little poster, book, or basket that I put away makes the layoff more real. It’s like packing up your cubicle but you have 5 weeks to do it and you have to find room at home to store it. Sorry future hubby, the clean garage you spent the last month organizing is going to be a disaster zone.
I know that I’ll be back to teaching but I don’t know when. The future hubby says we’ll be alright financially and to give teaching jobs until the end of October (when we get married) and then I’ll be off looking for a corporate job. I’ll be fine financially but my heart will be a little bruised leaving my school, teacher friends, and my kids! All 449 students drive me crazy at one point or another but they’ve also made me laugh and giggle and brighten my day. I think I’m going to miss them the most. I mean, who’s going to tell me that I look pretty, scream my name across the playground and run towards me, and give me random hugs?
I think I'm going to have to go hang out with some of my friends kids or more niece more to compensate.
